March 23, 2003

Shock n’ Awe Ain’t Just an Indian Tribe the U.S. Decimated in the 1800’s

Spring has finally reached my neck of the woods (I dance on your muddy grave, Snow!), and I’ve found myself, of all things, trying—trying, mind you—to get into better shape. I have already started to jog a little bit every day for the past week. What I’m hoping for is a return to something like my jogging glory days (there were roughly 30 of them—my ankles started hurting after that) in college. This go round might even be more successful, since stinky Tacoman pavement has been replaced by non-stinky Warrenite grass.
And seeing as how I don’t like the war and would like to somehow work that dislike into this post, I have decided that I will be jogging for an end to the war. I assure you it will cause no traffic congestion or uncomfortable hippie encounters. My main goal will be to raise awareness among the family that lives next door.
In response to the US government’s “Operation: Shock and Awe Shucks, I Bombed Your Whole Family,” I will launch this, my own “Shock and Awe” campaign, referring of course to the shock and awe you will all experience when you come face to face with the sexy new Jason. Just a head’s up: many of you will likely find the new me breathtaking and irresistable, but this is a bridge we’ll have to cross when we come to it.

Posted by jason at March 23, 2003 01:42 PM

woohoo, fitness.
if you get jogging-related injuries, talk to me, or hell, even someone smarter. i just hate it when a little stress fracture keeps people from ever going outside again.

Posted by: kt at March 23, 2003 05:10 PM

Thanks, I'll remember that when (not if) I get hurt.

Posted by: jason at March 23, 2003 05:19 PM

i already want to have sex with you just hearing about this. baby! do me now!

Posted by: michele at March 23, 2003 06:20 PM

Fuck, at the movies last night I discovered Goldenberg's Peanut Chews. This may be a harder road than I'd anicipated.

Posted by: jason at March 24, 2003 06:40 AM

don't do it jason. all that sex you will have will only exhaust you more.

Posted by: didofoot at March 24, 2003 08:06 AM

but after each sexual encounter i will reward you with a goldberg's peanut chew.

(oh man. my brain tried to replace peanut with penis there and thought, 'well jason might appreciate that more than my sex anyway.')

Posted by: michele at March 24, 2003 10:50 AM

I'd certainly appreciate it more than whoever's penis I would be chewing.

Posted by: jason at March 24, 2003 03:43 PM

michele: back off bitch! the boy is mine.

Posted by: erica at March 24, 2003 06:32 PM